Choices

Boss EL made a formal announcement to the group of us during our team meeting about her resignation yesterday. A tendered as well. I haven't had the time to feel sad yet. Because, it's S' last day today.

S seats diagonally across me and I absolutely absolutely adore her. She's a marketing manager 8 years older than me, but looks much much younger. Because she works directly under Big Boss, she's often under a lot of stress - yet she's always cheerful and well... Even when she says 去死吧, it sounds more funny than malicious.

There was once, Big Boss was commending her for her work on 2 crazy events that she managed to pull off - he said she must have been very frustrated with all the work and he must apologise for that. Usually, it would have been a cue for the person involved to say something polite, something 'keqi' - but without a pause S just said that she wished she could bomb the office. We all tried to stifle our laughter... Big Boss looked stunned and laughed awkwardly before changing the topic. That was classic.

S' frank without being mean and really a good friend. She's moving on to an ad agency and a she asked if I'm interested. I was surprised and though I still have nightmares of working at one, I told her that I'm open to it. She'll let me know after she settles down and has checked out the environment. Sweet!

Back to Boss EL's announcement - although I was already aware, the finality of this working relationship upset me. In a few short months, she has been a mentor both at work and in my journey of faith. I know I'll miss her.

She asked if there is anything that she could do for us at work before she leaves - which was really a kind and sincere gesture - each of us said something and I told her that I didn't want to be a headless chicken running around and banging into walls. I think she got what I meant - she asked me what I wanted to focus on and I told her v honestly that I didn't know. I don't mind working slavishly on sth, cos in a psychotic sense, I get a high from it - I er... Do things better when extremely stressed. But, I do mind doing something new without given any idea on how to approach things and especially when its given the evening before its due the next morning. I am aware of my lack of experience and I'm game for anything but with some sort of guidance. She says she knows I'm v committed and asked if I wanted to try project management. I said no. Not because I don't want to, but given my soft character, I'll be eaten up by our clients and may be pushed into doing extra things. I need to learn such skills. For some reason WS then said that they should get me an intern so I can pass my work to the intern and I can train leadership skills, then I'll be more confident - a long time ago, I would have been happy, but I know now that this doesn't solve the prob. I need a mentor, I don't want to mentor... I can't!

My anchors in the office are all leaving, what's next? I'm adopting a wait and see attitude while asking Him for strength. Tmr, it's another one-woman show for me at the client's. I haven't met up with this client for a while and I pray and pray I'll be able to handle it and that she will trust me. Somehow.