Got home not long ago. Went to Suntec, then to town. Feeling a little out of sorts now... lots of things added up I guess. Ting helped to check the class I'll be in next semester. Didn't really want to know cos I was still harbouring the hope that we'll still be in the same class... I'll be in 07, how about you guys?

Haven't been feeling like myself lately, burdened by lots of thoughts, and some of them- very unnecessary ones. I feel as though my heart weigh ten thousand pounds. I tried to laugh when I can't, to smile when all I wanted to do was to just sleep my life away. No dreams, nothing; just a dreamless sleep, hence the sleeping pills. No no, I'm not some stupid suicidal girl. I always hold dearly to my heart this principle that no one should come this far in life to just throw everything away. I'm just tired of life I guess. I breathe, I eat, I sleep, I work... the problem is that I don't know what I'm living for. Nothing surprises me... yes, some of the things I do and say can be quite appalling, especially recently. I just wanted to surprise myself. Did I succeed? Yes, in a way I guess... and it never felt more wrong. I don't feel like myself- then again, I don't really know myself either and I'm always quite amazed when people can say so much when asked to describe themselves. I'm always at a loss for words, other than saying what I like to do, I can't say anything else cos I don't know what kind of person I am. I act like a totally different person with different ppl and situations. No, I'm not pretending, I just behave the way I feel like behaving at that moment. Doesn't everyone? I don't know.

I really do not know how to continue, I guess I just wanted know why I'm typing it here... to arrange my thoughts I guess? So that I can read it later and better sense of everything? Maybe I should just sleep and when I wake up, I'll be better. Just sudden neurotism I guess. Ah what the hell....