This is another bad morning. I woke up feeling a dull ache in my heart, couldn't sleep and started vomitting and having a bad stomach. Doc says that if I don't get better, I will need to do a scope.

Are all these problems psychological? How did someone manage to cause so much pain that I'm feeling worse than ever?

I miss my colleagues already, with them, the sadness is reduced. I should pray. Why is it that you always hurt your exes so badly? When will I ever get out of this deep hole?

Yest, sis told me that my parents kinda knew what was gg on. Started tearing in the car because they were especially nice recently, asking if I wanted to watch movies with them, if I was feeling ok but never broached on the topic. Apparently, bro told them not to mention her name when I'm ard and they kinda got it.

6 years is a long time. Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of you. I know I shouldn't be writing this but let this be the last time. I realized that when I'm upset, I'm alone. Where were you?