It's been a stressful few weeks and I think my body's showing the signs. Work has been a bad mixture of frustration and stress. School's tiring... thanks to a lecturer's bad scheduling of a module... I attend classes about 4 times a week, sometimes on Sat, and because of my subject combinations, I have group projects due one after another. So on days when I don't go to school, I have project meetings. Group project meetings sometimes clash... for one of the modules, I'm with classmates who are of high-distinction calibre... I feel as though I'm not good enough and that I have to make up for it somehow. Yet, I don't have the energy, everything that I do is half-half and I feel so mad at myself. For another project, I feel that there is something very wrong with one of the parts, yet... I don't have the time and energy to read up and do something about it. There is this event at work that I'm helping to run... I am not fulfilling my end of the bargain and we all know there are more things that I can do. I lug home work every day, yet I do not have the energy. I bring it back to work the next day, untouched. I want to take a day off, no school, no project meetings, no work, just to concentrate on the things I need to do. Yet, from experience, I know that boss has issues with people taking leave. She doesn't make it easy. Somehow... because I'm so goddamn weak, I always feel like I have to compromise by promising to finish up this and that. Before I left for the trip, I stayed till 11 alone in the office finishing things up to send to her because she felt it was so damn important and when I came back, she haven't even looked at it. I really want to leave, quit. Isn't it ironic that you are made by your boss to feel dispensable, yet you can't go on leave without accomplishing a must-do list, because it's so 'wrong' to go on leave. How many times have I blogged on things that are somewhat the same? I don't know.

Bun wrote something about me in her blog, teared after reading, I'm sorry that I haven't written much about you either. =) I'm glad the bun who wished that one day, with a pill, she can eliminate the need to sleep (because she feels that sleep is such a waste of time), is learning to appreciate the feeling of sitting at a coffee place and watching the world go by, 'wasting time' and deriving pleasure from it. This is one bad thing that I'm proud to proclaim that I passed to you. It's a pity that I'm not able to join you as much as I'd like to. Thank you for understanding, you made my day.