This is not going to be a happy one.

Here's a letter to you that you will never read-

Dear you,

Do you know that I'm bloody disappointed in you? I woke up today and you are not around. Why is it that I'm not surprised? Wait, I think I already know the answer- it's because I fell asleep wondering if you will be ard the next morning. And you are not. Oh please... I was hoping you would surprise me.

It's weird how I'm not angry with you. Maybe it's going to build up to something else. In the past... I used to wonder what's worse- anger or disappointment. What do you think? It has only been a few days since she left and things are already getting out of hand. I never thought you would lie, but you did- and that stings.

You promised her that you wouldn't and swore that you didn't... swore to who, may I ask? Something with four faces?

You wouldn't think that I know more about her than you in your wildest dream/nightmare would ever expect. As I sat in the same carriage watching her, I had to fight the temptation to inflict a lot of pain on her. Maybe I will, soon.

I realised that some problems, no matter how you sit on it, it will not go away. I knew this as a fact before everything else happened. But I thought it would be better to be stupid and ignorant than have unwanted knowledge. But you made it impossible. I really am not interested in listening to your mumbles when I ask you a simple question. I knew I could make you really fumble should I decide to ask you a few more 'innocent' questions. I didn't... sad to say... the heart aches when I listen to all these nonsense that I know are lies. Given a choice, I would prefer to escape from it all... but as I repeat again, you made it impossible because you are such a bloody bad liar. And we all know that.

I feel sick to the core, I feel stressed and I'm really scared.

Now, should we let her know? We should. Because we have to. Yet I feel the need to protect her as well. YOU tell me how. But too bad... it's not all about you anymore.

Children are lucky... there can cry and hide under the blanket with their hands covering their ears when they are scared. They can hug the legs and hide behind the person that they trust. I wish I was 6. I'm not... I'm an adult now and I can't cry because there's someone that I need to be strong for. Thanks for the timely wake up call... but no thanks.

There's always God - and he doesn't have four faces.

I hate it that I'm so bitter.