Interviews, interviews and MORE interviews. I'm tired, I'm going for some out of obligation to friends and I'm running out of serious clothes to wear- well... if you know me you will know that my wardrobe consists of mini-skirts (easy to wear, can run in them and most of all, it's cooling). I hate pants, I hate knee-length skirts, I hate button-down shirts... I look like a scarecrow in them (not that I don't already look like one).

Went for the one job which I really want today... please, let me get it because if I don't... I'll probably go mad, I'll lose direction in life, I'll freak, I'll degenerate into a glue-sniffer (the cheapest way to get high I assume?) squatting by the roadside dressed in last season's pasar malam steals.

Ok, I exaggerate- But you get the drift? Sometimes you want something so much that the idea of settling for second best, no matter how lucrative, is appalling.

Speaking of 2nd best, went through some old pics last night and there were quite a number of pics of a certain someone... I adored her so much then (years ago) that I kept snapping pics of her even when she wasn't looking (let me get this straight, we were out together, we know each other, please dismiss those 'pearl's a stalker' thoughts). How I thought that she was the best and no one else comes close, how I memorised and clung on to what she said to me. Now, I couldn't help but wonder how I could ever be so dumb- I still remember those words that I used to treasure, but the then bittersweet memory is well... just bitter. I had actually willingly and (horror of horrors) gladly settled down to being someone else's 2nd best. Was I actually hoping that in faithfully warming my seat as no. 2, I was going to become numero uno one bright and sunny day?

Yeah, it is not possible and not worth the time to buy that false hope. I'm saying this not because something has triggered me or that I'm still hung up over someone... I just want to organise my thoughts and well... serve as a reminder to myself that I'm not going to be 2nd best. No one should.