Went Republic Poly to look for Xaviere today. Made breakfast for her... a pretty late one though.

Was supposed to meet the special person today, but well as usual it din work out... so here I am sitting down here- a stoned and pathetic person typing away. I don't even know what to do later... dun wanna stay at home. Got home and just sat at my door and bawled my ugly eyes out. I wonder when I would stop feeling like this. Its really tiring. She told me to meet her at Tiong Bahru at 2.10pm, I would've gladly gone down - if I hadn't had the sudden urge to ask her what time she was meeting her friends. Turns out that she's meeting them at 2.30 at City Hall... So I'm supposed to go all the way there to meet her for 15mins? Told her I'll meet her some other day. I mean there's no point right? No matter how much I want to see her, I'm not dumb enough to do all the way down, if I did that, I'll feel worse later and curse myself for being a fool. No, I won't do that.

Might be meetin Xaviere and Krist later, maybe Lett and Candy darling too... haven't asked her yet. Should get out of the house.

Last night - Pearly called me... she's still sad over Candy, and she told me that she wished that she never introduced Candy to me cos she felt as though she kind of lost a friend. I felt really horrible after that. Then she cried. She was in town with Mel... rushed down, dragged Xaviere down with me. Got there, Mel and her had their dinner while I gawked at Ting's 'beautiful sight' haha... Ting's so going to kill me if she sees this. Walked to Spins after that. Didn't really talk much about Candy until towards the end. Tried explaining to Pearly why Candy was reacting like that but I dun really know how to get it through to her. She's too sad to think, I guess. My impression of Mel's much better after yesterday. Didn't really like her much cos of the things she told Pearly... the advice she gave Pearly and what she talked to Candy about etc... thought her way of thinking was a little off and that she's one ego butch. But she seemed pretty normal yesterday, she agreed that Pearly was sort of responsible for the strained f/s bet her and Candy. Xaviere should be glad to hear that. Haha!!! But no matter what, my dear Xaviere, I still can't seem to kick the habit of rolling my eyes when she keeps whining abt how cute Mel is. Yah, she is better-looking than a lot of butches, but I dun think she's THAT good looking alright?

I really hope that Pearly will get better. Anyway, Pearly wasn't very polite to Xaviere yesterday. I dunno what to do about it. Sort of reprimanded her for that... that blonde woman.. not sure how to make things better.