Something quite interesting happened today. Well if this is part of God's plan in terms of where I should be heading, I had better write this down because it will be a powerful testimony. But whether or not this leads to where I want it to be, I still thank God for this encounter.

I haven't been happy at work for the longest time and last week, I guess things took its toll - from the uncertainty of the promised promotion, to all the madness in picking up the pieces as a result of others' irresponsibility, to crazy workload and crazier clients, I just broke down. Mind you I didn't burst out crying madly and ran out of the office screaming or something. My tears just kept rolling down. I wanted to go to the toilet to cry it out but guess what, I didn't have the luxury of time to do so. Luckily no one saw, but I just kept my head down, kept crying and kept working.

It was on that day that I knew I really wanted to leave, even if it was without a job. I just couldn't take it anymore. I guess I should have seen the signs and did something about it many many months ago when I told myself that even if I were to be promoted, I would still leave. Strange isn't? I want the promotion for the possible salary increment but yet I knew that this wouldn't be a place that I wanted to stay on. I felt that certain things done were against my values, I was no longer happy, I hated all my clients, I felt guilty for not being able to do my best for each client because of time constraints, my boss wasn't giving me the support that I needed.

I also made the decision of cancelling my trip to Italy, forgo the $1000 air ticket - because I felt trapped by the trip for financial reasons. The trip is going to set me back by least $8000, if I were to be forced into a position of quitting without a job, I need to be prepared for an indeterminable period of joblessness though for sure I wouldn't allow myself to quit without a job. But it would be irresponsible of me to go on a trip to blow money that could last me for at least 4 months. I booked the trip when I was feeling pretty ok, it was right after a family holiday to TW, I should have thought more about it but I guess that was what a relaxing holiday does to you. You just get less frazzled and you just want to go on another trip soonest.

I plucked up the courage and told bestie on Sunday and needless to say, she was quite disappointed. I am still hoping to go, but all room and rail bookings would have to halt until I was certain I could go.

Anys, I went for BSF today despite feeling quite unhappy and stressed out. Otw, my friend  was texting me about meeting for dinner, which was enticing considering the fact that the last thing that I wanted was to go for a bible class. But I pressed on because I knew that I would always feel better after class and I was trying to keep the promise made to self and to God, which was to practise spiritual discipline and well, besides, I did my homework (heh) this week leh!

True enough, through the study of Exodus, I felt a joy and peace which I haven't felt in a while - my spiritual life, was well, also on a dry spell. Towards the end of the lecture, I was a little hungry, having only consumed a tiny piece of pastry before class. The moment lecture ended, for the first time ever, I felt like I needed to bolt off - much to the amazement of my classmates. I really wasn't THAT hungry, but I felt like I needed to hurry to Holland Village to get something. I walked so quickly that soon, the people who were in front of me, were trailing far behind.

Whilst walking, I was thinking of heading to either Breadtalk or CJ's bakery to pick up some bread. Normally, I could prefer Breadtalk as the bread tastes better while CJ, at 9.15pm, I would be left with a tiny selection of hard and dry breads. But, I just thought of my parents and decided that I should get them some nice CJ carrot cake and egg tarts for their breakfast tomorrow.

So I walked REALLY fast towards CJ and at the entrance, I saw an ex-colleague who used to work at another dept. I have never really talked much to him except for times where we happen to be heading home and boarded the same bus. During those times, I knew he's a staunch Christian and he's doing a lot for his ministry in church. We basically talk a lot about God - I have a good impression of him. But still, those conversations were rare and honestly, usually, I would just pretend not to see people and just walk the other way.

For some strange reason, I remembered his name and called out to him as we were both walking through the glass door of CJ together. So we stopped and talked and he asked me how I was, so I was doing my PR thing of being all bright and cheery 'everything's great! how about you? were you having dinner here?' - all the polite stuff.

So we made small talk and again, he asked me how I was and suddenly, I felt I could trust him and I told him that actually I'm looking around for job opportunities. Being the godly man that he is, he asked me if I heard from God about it and he said that this was definitely a place which God planted me at. I told him that I asked God but haven't heard, I know that this was a place that God wanted me to be in many years ago, since it was here that I knew God, but I haven't been feeling happy for a while and I've been thinking about that for a year. I guess 4 years was enough for me to confirm that I would want to leave.

He nodded in understanding and I asked about him. He told me that he just started full time work at a job position which God provided for him. I congratulated him and I asked him if he heard of Gallup and that I really wanted to join the company because it has been my dream company ever since I saw that they did consulting for churches. To be, it was a way to serve God, there are many ways, I know, but something in me just lit up when I saw it and the fire never really did went away.

He just suddenly looked at me and he said - you know, I've just started work at my company this week and we are looking to grow, but well, things are still new and I'm the only person in my department for now, perhaps I could give you my email but he kinda forgot if the email was one word or with a dot between his name and surname, having just set up the account a few days ago. Hence after that, he asked for my email as well. He said he would drop you a line and see if we can take it from there. (Haha... no, he's not working at Gallup) For some reason, I gave him my email and it didn't sink in.

When the conversation ended, I asked if he was going into CJ and that was the part where I felt it was God who orchestrated this meeting. He already had dinner but still felt hungry and was contemplating going to Breadtalk but decided to walk to CJ's instead and that was how he bumped into me and that actually he doesn't think that he's going to get bread anymore because he shouldn't be eating and that he thinks he was just supposed to come here for a reason.

I checked his company, it is a Christian IT firm.

I asked God for a Christian environment with a good mentor.

You know, if this works out, this entire testimony is going to be published everywhere.