Contentment

I've been feeling nervous about 2 things right now - my supposed promotion at work and also, on the other extreme end being all alone in the world.

I haven't been feeling happy at work for a while and I'm always somehow angry and dissatisfied at how things are. Angry at other people's motives, and about the workload.

After lg today, I had dessert with a friend who works in the same company and although he has just joined, he is flooded with work yet... He manages them well, he has been assigned to good mentors and he is doing well.

The same cant be said for me. I actually told him that I'm very envious yet happy for him. For me, I just wonder where all these things are heading to and I feel like, I cannot wait anymore.

In terms of loneliness... I seem to lack the capacity to build deep relationships with people. I just don't know how to, don't ask me why. I don't really have as much time as I could to care much about those around me. This scares me. I'm like a robot- snap fingers- pearl is a Christian! And I start the churchy things - which I think is a good start. I can't be as multifaceted as I like. I'm just one dimensional. What happened to me?