Old habits

Being exposed to the catholic faith in my convent education has formed quite a lot of habits. One of it was to make the sign of the cross - something which Christians do not practice. We opened Alpha with a prayer - and since I'm attending Alpha at a catholic church, prayer starts with... Ta-dah... Making the sign of the cross. After years of training in my formative years, it has become an automatic reflex for me to make the sign whenever someone utters 'in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit' and then, almost immediately, went 'oh shit' in my head - following that, ended the prayer in somewhat of a confusion - should I make the sign after the prayer ends? To end the story, I made the sign after uttering 'Amen', albeit sheepishly.

It got me thinking... Why the division?

I've always admired and loved the beauty and tradition of the catholic mass, I find the solemnity, the rituals, the so called 'standing, sitting and kneeling on repeat mode', as cheeky A described, to be beautiful and is a sign of respect towards my deserving God and should be observed. So, I used to be rather horrified to see people hopping and waving their arms madly during worship in Christian services.

As I embarked on my journey as a Christian, I find myself understanding the Christian faith better - but that caused a slight dilemma. Based on my days in primary and secondary schools, I took away a strong sense of appreciation for the rituals, but took away... Almost nothing on God and the word of God. I know my standard scripts - 'through Him with Him in Him in the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honour is yours almighty Father, forever and ever...' etc... I knew these at the back of my head, the hymns that I hum to myself, are not of those that I learnt recently, but those that I learnt as a child.

The problem was, I did not know the significance, the whys that these rituals are done. I know nothing abt the bible except for a few of the 10 Commandments. I'm quite ashamed that my decade-long education in a convent did nothing for my understanding as compared to what I'd learnt as a Christian in a few months. I attribute the lack of understanding to my immaturity and lack of interest as a child. But, during class, Catholics agreed that their foundation on the Word is a lot weaker than most Christians where belief is founded on the Word. Most didn't really read the bible, but, would I say that they love God any less? I don't know... Because I also know that faith is also believing in what you cannot see and what you don't fully comprehend.

That's where the anticipated confusion comes in, I'm catholic in behaviour, Christian in mentality. And this got me wondering abt the different denominations of Christianity, etc, differences between Catholics and Christians and wonder if such divisions serve any importance in the worship of God, or they do what they do, divide. Why is there a need to divide?

I need to read and understand better the history. Maybe I should find out more about Mark's 8-year masters course.