I'm now at my 3rd job since I left NTU and so far, things are going pretty ok. But after all the bad previous experiences, I'm crossing my fingers every day and I am not letting myself relax until... I'm good at what I am supposed to do, maybe then, I can relax just a little.

Job no. 2 post-NTU and right after Ate was a horrific one. The nature of the job was fine, just that the manager whom I was working under was... a horrible woman to say the very least. I should have realised that when I was told that the 2 marketing executives left when she joined and she was only there for 2 months when I joined. She yells really loudly at those working under her, was quick to point fingers when things went awry... it was a humbling experience to be asked if my testimonials were fake because I suck at my job. I remember crying really hard that day during lunch at the office staircase. My partner working with me was suffering as well, though not as badly. Things got worst after I left and 2 weeks later, she tendered her resignation as well. So, that's 4 marketing executives leaving in the 4 months that she joined.

Being unable to stick to 2 consecutive jobs for more than 3 months each had caused quite a bit of damage in self-esteem. I spent many months wondering if this was what it's going to be and I was angry and terrified for a while. I went for many interviews, sometimes rejecting 2nd interviews and even job offers due to an innate fear of not being able to manage and failing miserably. The last was in the F&B sector and besides marketing and customer service responsibilities, I was to be exposed to restaurant set-up and operations as well - all the things that I love. It was hard to submit the resignation but I just didn't think that I should be putting up with all the humiliation piled on me. My partner, J, took a while to get over the horrific experience as well and it was bad because months later, we were still cursing and swearing at the ex-boss, and ex-colleagues in the company working under another manager were constantly looking for ways to make my ex-boss' life miserable because they hated to see her treat people the way that she did and they were very very angry with her.

Anys, I'm glad to say that although it was tough, we both managed to put the anger behind us, our self-confidence slowly returned and now, we have both started on our individual jobs and are much happier. But because I understand that this happiness and sense of harmony with myself is not something that came by easily, I am crossing my fingers whenever anyone asked if I'm happy at my job now. I should never be complacent or take things for granted. Right now, I can say that I like the company that I'm working at, I like my job and my colleagues are kind and respect one another -crosses fingers- One thing that's for sure - the company believes in work life balance :)

What I got most out of the ordeal was that... I'm very much loved by my family and Bunny. I received a lot of love and support from them over the last few months and I'm very very grateful. I do hope that what I do now and in the future would allow me to give them that same level of warmth and love that they have given me and for once, I find myself praying to God very often to watch over my family, Bunny and my friends because they are so precious to me.